Struggling to Get Out of Bed? Understanding Depression and Motivation

One of the most common experiences among people living with depression is how hard it is to get up and accomplish everyday tasks. Things that once brought joy lose their color, and simple chores feel heavier than ever. If that sounds familiar, you are not alone. Depression is closely linked to cognitive dysfunction, making it harder to plan, execute, and feel a sense of accomplishment — even after completing something meaningful.

In this article, we'll explore how depression symptoms affect motivation, and offer practical strategies to help you start moving forward, one small step at a time.

Why Depression Makes Motivation So Hard

The lack of motivation that comes with depression isn't a personal failing — it's rooted in how depression changes the brain. Symptoms like negative thought patterns, anhedonia, and persistent low energy impair cognitive control, attention, and memory. Depression alters brain chemistry in ways that produce apathy, reduced pleasure, and mental fatigue, all of which make it difficult to initiate, focus on, or complete goal-directed behavior.

You are not lazy. Lack of motivation is a symptom of depression, not a character trait. Here's a closer look at how specific symptoms affect your drive:

Cognitive Control Deficits: Depression impairs the brain's ability to shift attention between tasks and regulate emotions, making it difficult to focus on or even begin working toward a goal.

Anhedonia: This common depression symptom diminishes the ability to feel pleasure, removing the reward-driven motivation that normally propels us into action.

Physical and Mental Fatigue: Depression is frequently accompanied by deep exhaustion, making even small tasks feel physically and mentally insurmountable.

Negative Thought Patterns: Cognitive biases cause the mind to fixate on negative information, feeding feelings of hopelessness and further eroding motivation.

Isolation and Apathy: Low energy fuels a desire to withdraw from life, creating a cycle of reduced activity that is hard to break without support.

Start Smaller Than You Think You Should

Nobody snaps out of depression overnight. Recovery takes time, patience, and sometimes medication. Be patient with yourself, and try to honor your own rhythm as you move forward.

1. Set small, manageable goals. Depending on the severity of your symptoms, even taking a shower can feel like too much. That's okay. Start with one task per day — something that doesn't feel overwhelming. It can be as simple as getting out of bed or brushing your teeth, or something slightly bigger like cooking a meal or putting away laundry.

2. Get out of bed and out of your pajamas. Sometimes change starts on the outside. Even changing into sweatpants and moving to the couch is a step forward. For someone living with depression, that small shift can be significant.

3. Move your body. Movement generates momentum. Walk around the block, or even just around your home. As you begin to feel better, gradually increase the duration. Exercise prompts your body to release endorphins, which naturally boost mood and can help ease depression symptoms over time.

4. Shift your focus toward the positive. Instead of scrolling through news and social media, seek out content that reflects a more hopeful view of life. Consider keeping a gratitude journal — each night, write down three things you're grateful for, big or small. Focus on what you're actually experiencing, rather than writing on autopilot.

5. Build a routine. The sense of accomplishment that comes from completing daily tasks supports overall well-being. Write your routine down, post it somewhere visible, and check off each task as you complete it. Small wins can inspire you to aim a little higher each day.

6. Create a support system. Reach out to friends or family members you trust, and let them know what you're going through. Take any impulse to connect or go out as a cue to act on it.

7. Prioritize sleep. Depression disrupts sleep, and poor sleep worsens mood and energy. Practice good sleep hygiene by establishing a calming bedtime routine, limiting screen time before bed, and waking up at consistent times each day.

8. Talk to a doctor or therapist. If even the smallest steps feel out of reach, speaking with a mental health professional can help. Therapy for depression offers tools to understand what's holding you back, identify unhelpful patterns, and work through them at your own pace.

Motivation Often Follows Action

One of the most persistent myths about depression and motivation is that we need to feel motivated before we can act. We stare at a messy closet, waiting for the urge to organize it — and it never comes. Our brain tells us it's too much, or that we can do it later, and we believe it.

The truth is, action usually comes first. When you start cleaning that closet and begin to see results, motivation follows. Starting something — however imperfectly — creates the momentum that feeling motivated alone never could.

For people living with depression, it helps to choose actions that are meaningful to you. This is what therapists call committed action: behavior that aligns with your values and the kind of person you want to be. If a calm, organized space matters to you, cleaning your closet isn't just a chore — it's an act of self-care.

Try this exercise: picture the person you want to be. What do they do each day? What small, concrete step could you take today to move one inch closer to that version of yourself? Maybe it's picking the clothes up off the floor. Start there.

Using DBT's Opposite Action Skill

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers a powerful tool called Opposite Action, which is especially useful for managing depression and motivation. The concept is simple: identify what your emotion is urging you to do, and choose the opposite. Here's how it works:

1. Identify the emotion. Notice and name what you're feeling — sadness, shame, isolation, hopelessness.

   
   

2. Identify the action urge. What is that emotion telling you to do? (Stay in bed, avoid people, cancel plans?)

   
   

3. Check the facts. Would acting on that urge make things better or worse?

   
   

4. Choose the opposite action. Before you reach for the remote, decide to take a short walk instead.

   
   

5. Act all the way. Commit fully — with both your body and your mindset.

How Therapy Can Help With Depression

Reading a list of strategies is one thing. But for many people with depression, the honest response is: "I know what I should do. The problem is I can't do it." That's exactly where therapy comes in.

Working with a therapist for depression helps you understand what's keeping you stuck, uncover patterns that are blocking your healing, and develop personalized strategies to move forward. Therapy doesn't just offer advice — it offers insight and accountability in a space that's entirely yours.

We understand that leaving the house can feel like a barrier in itself. That's why at 21 Reflections Professional Counseling, our therapists provide trauma-informed, client-centered depression counseling through both in-person and telehealth appointments. Telehealth brings care directly to you — on your schedule, in your space. If you have questions or are ready to take that first step, don't hesitate to reach out.

Depression can be deeply debilitating — and reaching out for help is a meaningful act of courage. Be proud of yourself for every small step you take.

• Vera Santiago, MA, LSW